The following "article" was sent out as an email to the many friends of a brilliant doctor in Mexico, Dr Pepe Valancia. He's written 8 books, been a celebrity TV doctor, and involved with countless health improvement projects. Yet his goals and passion for helping elderly people lead comfortable lives is still largely unfulfilled. If you are moved by the following to help the elderly in Mexico, or the elderly in your country, please email Dr Pepe Valancia direct on firstname.lastname@example.org This message is about the meaning of "I almost give up!" In this "little letter" I intend to explain almost 35 years of my life devoted to dignifying old age, and encouraging Mexican people to "improve" the quality of life we have in old age...
“What beautiful work!” “Congratulations Pepe Valencia!” “Already you have gained a place heaven!” “Our funds can provide you with assistance!”
I've heard these phrases... and many similar... read and seen them in many, many ways, in magazines, on radio, television, dedications... and that's the end! Nothing happens next!
I've talked at hundreds (literally) of venues, from coast to coast, requesting financial support exclusively for seniors. There has been some very welcome support, but nothing else. The wool, the funds, is not for my pocket. It's to plant a better future for you in your old age!
Or do you hope your children will take care of you then?
All my Foundation projects aim to restore the social and family roles for the more experienced members in the family... What do you know of my requests? Is your family truly integrated? Are you or your grandparents part of family activities? But what is even more serious: are you and the rest of the family part of the activities of the grandparents?
I really do not understand how anyone can truly serve the screams of the elderly. Perhaps proactively, later in life, they will live a pathetic old age that many millions of seniors live... What age do you expect to live to?
All this disappointment and despair is mentioned because I feel it when listening to so many promises never fulfilled. I've moved home to start businesses, held truly extraordinary meetings about economic needs and social and family improvement. I had faith these plans would come to fruition, with my Foundation, “Life Without Fear” A.C.
And you know what? I stumbled upon lies, the deception of "entrepreneurs" whose word I trusted, who brought me to live in the most undesirable and unpleasant conditions both economically, and in my marriage.
I looked for other options to help the elderly, sending me, the donkey, back to tread wheat! Other than thinking I'm an asshole, others saw my faith and nobility. But here I am, alone!
I struggled to break the pathetic and painful image of elderly suffering in homes. I worked in homes served by people who have no idea of the needs of dependent elderly. I offered training, advice, supervision, in return for a small payment, and do you know how many places have cared? Ha ha ha! "Doctor Valencia, we know that you have the most experience in this field, but our resources are limited and all that we can offer are ... (a joke) pesos for training."
Well... Families are willing to pay whatever it takes to get an old person away from them, to remove the burden of caring for a grandfather who wets and shits, eats while making noises with his mouth open, and repeats the same story a thousand times... Is this worthy? You know how many elderly die from lack of proper care in these places the family put them in? You know the quality of food provided to them? You know how many elderly die of cold in the street because they are hungry or lonely or because their families abandoned them? ... NO, you don't know! I think you can remain indifferent to this ...
I think it was necessary for someone like me to show this problem now. I repeat the question: how can you live in your own old age, better, happier?
I love life, I love all living things and all that surrounds us. I see life and love poems every day. But I am described as "weird", because the only mission I currently have is to try to transcend humanity, to bequeath something to improve our culture!
I spend part of the day on one hand "making" money while families are increasingly broken. I use the other hand to check if politicians achieve their goals. I criticize, applaud, engage in polemics. Who (like me) will take advantage of our faith or nobility or penalise an amassing of wealth?
What about Mexico? What about our family? What about those principles our ancient cultures left us, to keep our grandfathers who, thanks to their experience and as members of councils of elders define what was best for our group...
I do not understand society when many religious leaders also take advantage of their "investiture" to become really rich. I say, indeed! They emphasize gaining monetary riches! How have we given them so much power? Priests claim to represent so many things, yet there is a very long row of paedophiles and what do you do for that?
I am one of the most faithful figures you'll ever meet... but the God in whom I believe did not invent religions or political parties, or the "entrepreneurs" who seek only to fuck those who believe in them. But you know what? I prefer to be "noble". I can't understand the meaning of being in their position, whether dead or alive.
And here is Pepito Valencia sending emails, knocking on doors, hoping "promises" are made, getting involved in everything and offering what the elders have taught me to do, extraordinary business (true this might already be extraordinary).
Always allow me to continue with these goals, my dreams, with all Foundation projects... My dreams are many. Many groups of entrepreneurs and investors are interested in this, I know. But personally I have no time. I do not have much time to perform. I have dared to ask them to be a "sponsor" while Foundation projects start and what is the answer? ...
- "Let us work with this Pepe. Board members have decided not to invest money in anything or anyone. But you'll see that in a short time we'll all be earning a lot of money ..."
What little hope for Mankind!
I trained (thanks to my old teachers) to give the best quality of life and dignity to all adults across the world, as well as quality of life and and dignity of death. But above all I want old Mexicans to regain their dignity, and no longer live waiting for alms.
I've always said:
"The culture of a country is known by the way they treat their elders" ... and:
"If a society does not turn its gaze toward their elders it is doomed" also:
"The quality of life you have in your old age depends on you... no one else!"
And that goes for you, grandfather:
"If you do not fly first class, nor will your heirs"
And what's up with Mexico? What's with this lack of support for the elderly? ... Fuck inheritance! You let your children become busy with work, and you buy them everything "affordable"! And what do they give back, seriously to help your old age, and more, the old age of others in need?
Where are we?
I do know where I am: ready to give up!
I represent or am part of many associations who commune with my ideals throughout Mexico. I'm afraid to die without seeing those dreams made... but my faith persists. I do not want you to live like a negative love that's based on feelings of guilt on the part of children and grandchildren ... no! Your dignity should come first!
The world will not end on December 21... the world will end when you stop dreaming about becoming an exceptional human being, when you stop trying to be an example of an ideal human being. The world will end when you don't accept you are someone who "steals oxygen from others", who agrees to be invisible, without love, without goals, without faith and beliefs, no identity, without attempt at helping others more... the world will end when you accept your world relies on pills and doctors without humanism, doctors without sensitivity who see in you just someone to give them gold money, and you follow to the letter the absurd instructions to take 5 or more medications. Stop being small. Stop staying at home, resigning yourself not to pursue a goal, not to fight for a dream for medical improvement or improved "order" of the family and help for the elderly: It's better for you to die now if you don't try to win at least one fight for goodness!
It's this question again: What awaits the elderly?
Now I ask this:
Where do you want to die? In the intensive care unit? At home? In your partner's arms? After you've achieved a goal or a dream? Do you want to be suffocated by the "I love you" you never said or gave, or received, because you and your society did not care? ... You decide
Remember also that: "No goal or love is impossible with trying."
I ask a favor: do not reply to this mail with titbits like "congratulations". If you spread it with your friends, and give me your hand, I swear I will help Mexico, its culture about old age, yourself in old age... I'll take care of all my projects, deal with what I now refuse and fear: being an old man!
I know you have contacts of all kinds. Join this project. But do not make promises based on the explosion I show in this e-product which took several days and nights to write, when I wonder how to do so many things in my daily life and in the future.
If you answer to give me advice, or recommendations that will lead to economic backing, not just meals on wheels and stuff, know that the Foundation needs corporate sponsorship or support to become permanently established. How is it possible that more institutions in this country help animals compared to elderly people? I say this with all my love for animals, who in many cases are more honest than many people. Entrepreneurs... "Magnates"! "Tycoons"! Let them take their wool with them when they die to see if they can!
If you reply, ask me for details of the Foundation. Otherwise do not do it because I'd feel even more "squashed" and disappointed than now.
But still, it hurts to live with limitations that affects and hurts my marriage. I want help elders live in comfort, I want them to relax, knowing then I can do that for which I was born: SERVE!
It hurts me if you do not understand the value of this cry, the tears I cry and express at this time and in this post.