Recovery is slow from my botched hernia operation. But one of my New Year Resolutions is to offer therapy and/or support to everyone I meet who seems in need. That resolution was quickly tested In a coffee bar! A lady at the table next to me looked sad.
"Hello," I said. "You look a bit sad."
"Hello," she replied. "I'm not sad, I'm mad." She looked down at the ground.
Hmmm. She doesn't seem mentally ill. Let's do a quick assessment. "May I ask how old you are?"
"Sixty three," she replied.
I lowered my voice. "And how long have you felt mad?"
"Since I was a tiny girl."
"What happens to you that shows you're mad?"
"Nothing happens."
"If nothing happens why do you think you're mad?" I asked quietly, so others in the coffee bar couldn't hear easily.
"My mother always said my father was mad. She said I'm like him, so I'm mad too." Her frown furrowed like a ploughed field.
Hmm, energetically, she feels normal. "May I ask," I said gently, "Have you ever taken tablets for mental health?"
"Never."
I'll ask again. "Have you ever had psychiatric drugs?"
"Never."
Feels truthful. "Have you ever been in a mental hospital?"
"Never."
That feels truthful too. "So tell me," I said, "If you've never taken drugs for mental health problems, and never been in a mental hospital, how can you possibly be mad?" She looked up at me, her mouth slightly open. "In other words," I continued, "at the age of 63, if you really were "mad", you'd have been on tablets or in hospital at least once, wouldn't you?"
The lady breathed out a huge sigh. "No-one's ever said that. You're right. I've never needed tablets or hospital so I can't be mad."
"Exactly. Your mother said you were mad for one of countless reasons, without realising it would affect your entire life."
"All my life, it's felt like a ton on my back. Now I know I've never been mad, there's no weight. It feels gone. I feel free, light." She smiled broadly as she put on her coat, and left happily.
Maybe last year, I would not have delved so deeply with a "mad" stranger in a coffee bar. But thank God my New Year's Resolution worked out well. Hopefully this year, so many will be helped they won't all fit into this blog. Bring it on!
"Hello," I said. "You look a bit sad."
"Hello," she replied. "I'm not sad, I'm mad." She looked down at the ground.
Hmmm. She doesn't seem mentally ill. Let's do a quick assessment. "May I ask how old you are?"
"Sixty three," she replied.
I lowered my voice. "And how long have you felt mad?"
"Since I was a tiny girl."
"What happens to you that shows you're mad?"
"Nothing happens."
"If nothing happens why do you think you're mad?" I asked quietly, so others in the coffee bar couldn't hear easily.
"My mother always said my father was mad. She said I'm like him, so I'm mad too." Her frown furrowed like a ploughed field.
Hmm, energetically, she feels normal. "May I ask," I said gently, "Have you ever taken tablets for mental health?"
"Never."
I'll ask again. "Have you ever had psychiatric drugs?"
"Never."
Feels truthful. "Have you ever been in a mental hospital?"
"Never."
That feels truthful too. "So tell me," I said, "If you've never taken drugs for mental health problems, and never been in a mental hospital, how can you possibly be mad?" She looked up at me, her mouth slightly open. "In other words," I continued, "at the age of 63, if you really were "mad", you'd have been on tablets or in hospital at least once, wouldn't you?"
The lady breathed out a huge sigh. "No-one's ever said that. You're right. I've never needed tablets or hospital so I can't be mad."
"Exactly. Your mother said you were mad for one of countless reasons, without realising it would affect your entire life."
"All my life, it's felt like a ton on my back. Now I know I've never been mad, there's no weight. It feels gone. I feel free, light." She smiled broadly as she put on her coat, and left happily.
Maybe last year, I would not have delved so deeply with a "mad" stranger in a coffee bar. But thank God my New Year's Resolution worked out well. Hopefully this year, so many will be helped they won't all fit into this blog. Bring it on!
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